A few days ago I was talking with someone I don’t know, we both had hyperemesis and she seems to be going through similar things that I’m going through, I told her I find it amazing how after everything that happened the overall feeling is love, she said “dude yes, yes, yes! that’s life that’s motherhood is beautiful and exhausting”.
For every question that I have love seems to be the answer or the messenger and I can’t stop thinking about it, I wonder if it’s because I’m just beginning to realize how much of it has been present in my life this past year, everything I’m experiencing now is a consequence of love. Lately, I find love in milk and tiny hugs, I find love every morning, at 4am, 7am, and 9am too, every 3 hours. Now that I have Penny I realize there is a side of love that I never experienced before, I wonder what else I’ve been missing out…
I believe that we should be able to find and express love in every single thing that we do, every action, every moment, every interaction, everywhere.
The Buddhists say that when you meet your soul mate you don’t feel anxious, your knees don’t shake and blah blah blah something like that.
One time I thought I was in love, love at first sight, it felt like silence, I actually felt silence, it feels like when someone punches you in the stomach and the whole world goes quiet, some people think that is romantic, I think that’s ominous, but I thought it was love.
I’ve never actually agreed with the romantic idea of love, I just don’t get it.
I don’t believe that there’s only one person that you meant to love for ever. I wonder why people promise to love for ever, I wonder why people believe it. I wonder what is left after that promised love is gone.
I don’t quite understand why we tend to categorize love: Close family, distant family, friends, really good friends, lovers, past lovers, almost lovers, the one…You get the idea. I don’t believe that the worth of it should be measured by how hard it is, I don’t believe it hurts.
but what do I know? I honestly don´t get it.